just got back from boston. Had a great time. What a great city. good food every where. Nice small friendly. Mostly white though. Strange to be in a place where every one looks like you. I am now used to me being the minority. I could live there. Hope Harvard would take us. Have to see UCSF though. I would love to be out west. it is just really far from family.....
Busy. not much time to write. Don't have much to say. fell like at 27 i should not be making the same mistakes I made at 18. Takes me a long time to learn. It is hard not being selfish. I think a lot about what love means. love of job, love of another. I think a lot about what i should be doing with my life. Sometimes i just think and don't act. That is bad.
So Jamie and I went out last night. It is a strange phenomana to watch people get drunk. There eyes glaze, they slur there speech and get slow of mind. I really relized last night how much who you are with effects how much fun you have. I would rather hand select three people to spend time with then hang out with a bunch of people. One person was hitting on Jamie, that was interesting. ETOH makes people do things they would other wise not do. We are still responsible, but are behaviors are much closer to where they naturally would be without social constrants.
It is strange for me to think that my father is reading my blog. There is something about the combination of my dad and this technology that just does not sit right in my mind. don't know why. It is strange when I sit and think about how much I know about my parents. Very little. As a child I cannot imagine there life before me, but they must have felt much as I feel now. I know in the next 10 years I will be having kids, and start down that 21 year plus road of indentured service to my children. I look foward to it, but there is still so much to be done before that happens. It is some how strange for me to think my parents life was complete without me. Selfish, I know but how else can a child look at his parents except as parents?
Have I said how much i love music. It brings back memories
So I took care of a kid with Prader-willie today. for my readers who do not know, PW is a genetic problem of imprinting. There is a functioning part of chromesome 15q from dad that should not be working, but is causing the child to be massivly obese, retarded, with a miss-shaped face and small balls and penis. They also can be violent. This kid was four and I think he out weighed me. He was sweet though, and id not really have any idea what kind of a hell of a life he had ahead of him. Mom did though. She was sick and tired of having to go throught the crap everyday she had to deal with. She had almost lost her job, had no help etc... This begs the question. Would it not have been better if the child had not been born? Does he have quality of life? What about the people who have to take care of him? This kid will never live without supervision. This kid will have numorous health problems and die young. Me while the moms life is next to ruined. Is is worth giving birth to defective children? I just don't know.
So I am now on peds. I like kids. I even like sick kids. I don't think i would want to do it for ever. Right now i have something in common with them. We can talk about x-box, b-ball etc. but as I grow older I think i would just be one of those fuddyduddy docs, thinks he is still in touch but really is not. i feel that way now. My glasses matched my tie today, scary. (needless to say I did not pick out my tie or my glasses.....). I have to say, i would never go to a non academic medical center for health care. there is a differance in the care the the skill of the Docs.
I would love to be 5 again.
Men and woman are like cats and dogs. I am not going to say which is which. what I will say is that there are differences that make life a lot harder then it needs to be. Often for woman, it is all about the process. Woman want to talk about it, express themselves be "heard". they do not care as much about resolution, for them the process is resolution. For men, we want to know what the problem is, fix it if possibble and go watch the game. These of course are broad generliztions. But I don't give a fuck.
I love Basket ball. But, I am getting old. I hurt myself and my body does not bounce back. Another reminded of age. I went to an SJCA alum event. I was the yougest person there and the play was good, but the conversation boring and, dissapointing. It just made me feel old. You can't go back. I relize how many things in college I took for granted, ignored and just let go by. Youth is wasted on the young, and I am no longer young. My body hurts. i think i will take a hot bath.