my attending is crazy.
She would be kinda of cute and sexy if she where not a looney toon.
Got jamies x-mas gift.....
Don't worry dear I listen.
Feeling sick.
Just got through hearing about deadly influenza H5N3.
New patient today.
Sick bugger from the ICU.
Snot drips from my nose
Staph areus plays about in my nares
Vector for my patients
Acid In my stomach,
Pain from stress burns my throat
Pharmacology
Running in a Gym.
The sweat beads upon my brow.
Like rain on rose petals.
Two days off in a row!
I think I will run today.
My lazy ass has gotten fat.
I had a big slice of pecan pie for breakfast.
Breakfast of champions!
Here is my Hiku:
Arising from dusky sleep,
Pie, calls to me from the fridge,
The fall of soft leaves.
This should be a good day.....
Day Off.
Thank God.
My Life Is before me.
Don't feel I can focus quite the way I was able to when I was younger.
Worry about my patients I let behind.
Did I sign out everything?
Read today in the new england journel that residents don't perform as well when they don't have sleep. Duh, I could have told you that without doing a study.
We are asked to take life into our hands, to be perfect to always make the right choices.
Don't people know we are Human? We make mistakes all the time.
I don't trust doctors, and niether should you.
Once again, working on a holiday.
Rulling out a guy for TB.
Once the scourge of man kind now just the scourge of philly.
Typical patient.
Ethol abuse, homeless, TB probably HIV.
I hate to say it but:
1. This is why health care is so expensive (taking care of unproductive members of society) and
2. Why live if you are going to do this to yourself?
Is my true self showing?
Memories. I look in the mirror and see my self as older. Is my hair thinning? Constant knawing headache. Thoughts float through my head... Headache worse in the morning on awakening, usually brain tumor. Maybe sinus infection? Got to watch out for the infection eating into my brain. Think about taking antibiotic. Ask myself would I give a patient some. Answer no. Working on thanksgiving. Realizing as I deal with sick people that they depend on me. That my sleep addled brain, my attention to detail is what will keep these very sick people safe from death, at least as safe as I can make them. Heavy load. Forget details, mix up patients. Beeper goes off for the tenth time. Wish I was somewhere else. Do not want to regret this choice. Beeper goes off again. Must make a quick choice. Which patient is this again? Oh yea. I will be there. Hang on.
End of shift comes now
With a phone call I unburden
The cool wind of night
Off to home.
There is too much cross talk going on here. I think I will stop writting for a while. I have suddenly soured on the idea of sharing my life in this way. I think I will stop reading other's blogs as well. It has left me with a somewhat bitter taste in my mouth. Mabye it is better to keep these thoughts personal and hidden instead of being this open with friends. There is a strange phenomana occuring amongst my friends and I don't like it.
I have to say, I read my friends Blogs obssesivly (sp). I know that most people don't post more then once a day, but I look any way. I think the greatest problem with blogs is that they are often full of subtext. It is hard to tell if a message is ment for you or not......
So I could not sleep last night. That has to be one of the worst feelings in the world. I think it all hit me at once. I have my boards on the 19th (which I will not be ready for) and we are going to be interviewing soon. (I have reoccuring images of not matching into a program and having to scramble...) I also relized my Blog is getting repetitive, so I have to write about something else, because I would not want to read this......
No seth I have not seen Supersize me, but I would like to. I know from my patients how bad an effect it has on your body. If we eliminated fast food, we could save the US billions in health care dollars.....
I cannot tell you how excited I am about interviewing. I feel like my life will actually be starting. I feel like I have done a good job, and now it will pay off. I am excited about medicine. I hope I made the right choice. I am having trouble getting ready for my boards because I feel like I just do not care.
It feels good to be wanted by top places.
I cannot tell you how sad I am when I see a massivly obease person sit down next to me in a resturant and then eats 1,000's of cals. I want to scream,"You are killing yourself!" Do you really need that supersize fries and regular coke with your two big macs? A icecream too? It is not being fat that I have a problem with, it is being so fat that you are unhealthy and not doing anything about it. Weight loss is one of the most difficult things to do in this world, but at least try, instead of dying slowly..........
So we are on the road to hell. We are fighting in Iraq again. Our president is evil. This sucks. And There was election fraud, that once again, Bush will get away with. So here I sit, at a laundry mat, washing clothes. What can I do?
Stanford offered me an interview today! Jamie of course already had one.....
I would love to be in Cal. I don't think I can get Jamie to go though.
As of last night.
Interview at Johns Hopkins
Interview at Penn.
So out of the top ten med programs in the country,
5 have asked us to interview thus far, more for Jamie.
3 out of the top five have asked us so far.
I always told you I would be famous......
So I am sitting here in Panara bread, (it is like starbucks for those of you who don't know) and I am loving the wireless connection, and I have just had a few thoughts that I would like to share. I have a lot going on in my brain right now, for I am reading one of my favorite authors, Neil Stephenson and studying for boards:
1.News: Fox news is on in the back ground here. You know what I have to say about 24H news channels? They suck. They are like a humor show almost. They report on the dumbest crap because there is not enough for them to report on. They do not really inform you about anything by the do put out a lot of spin. I thought the point of news was to give us perspective, not give us spectacle, but that is what it has become. It is now just another form of entertainment.
2.Harvard: To clarify the Harvard situation. There are three main Harvard teaching Hospitals. MGH, BWH and the BIDC. That is also the order of how good they are thought to be. All of then are Harvard. We have been invited to BWH so far though we have applied to all three.
3. Nice young man: I just met a nice young man working at panara named Donny. It is nice to have nice people renew your faith in the fact that some people have sense in this nation
Harvard wants to interview us! Wow!
BWH wants us. More later.
God is the only one who can save this country now. I don't belive in God, But God Help us all.
How can we as a people be so ignorant?
How can we be so selfish?
How can we be so blind?
I had more faith in peoples good sense then this.
I am posting from Pittsberg (sp) I am actually on a wirless connection as well. I am currently sitting in panara bread getting read for step 2 of the boards. I hate some of the stuff I am reading like OB/Gyn and psych. But read it I must to pass step two.
More later